The Women Guide

Question submitted by whentheboughbreaks:

Response to The Man Guide:

This is a question I’m sure many men would like an answer to. I think it’s important, though, to avoid a digression into things like ‘Mommy-issues’ and ‘commitment phobias’.

The fact of the matter is than inside your head, there lives a little voice- some have called it ego, others conscience, others schizophrenia- that thinks you’re a lot greater than you are. Now, I’m not saying you’re not great, I’m just emphasizing that this little voice thinks you’re THE shit; the tops; bee’s knees; the mutt’s nuts; etc.

So maybe you’re seeing a couple of girls, and getting really close with one. You’re all kissin’ and shit, maybe even already mashin’ your privates together. Things are going great! But she starts to bark up the commitment tree and for some reason, your half-wood melts like Velveeta and your balls retreat inside you like threatened turtle. What’s the deal?

Well, the aforementioned little voice is speaking up. He’s saying, “Hey buddy, if we settle here, think about all the other poon we’ll be walking away from! All the tummies we’ll forgo spunking on! All the beejays we’ll be turning our back on! Don’t do it! Run!” Subconsciously, you’re affected, you listen, and you inevitably shy away from what might have been a good relationship.

Now, don’t get mad at the little voice. He’s only looking out for you. The problem is that chances are, you don’t exactly have hundreds of girls banging your door down cause they wanna blow you. He also doesn’t know about the positives of monogamy, which might include such wonders as unprotected sex, fantasy exploration without judgment or rumors, occasional gifts, and maybe even a birthday threesome (these are of course, best case scenarios- assuming you commit to a reasonably cool chick and not some loopy cunt.)

My advice is to ignore the little voice. Try it out. If a girl wants you to be monogamous, it probably means that she likes you enough to let you touch her pink spots on the regular, which is pretty neat. Commit, but make sure she’s worth it first. And if you do take the leap, don’t do it half assed, because you’ll never reap the benefits that way.

-M. (Unmotivated aka @guymcmannerson)