The Women Guide

Verbally submitted by a male friend: Why don’t girls seem to be attracted to nice guys, and always end up falling for assholes?

First let’s see how old this girl is.  If she is under 24/25, she’s probably not secure in herself yet.  There are exceptions to this.  Sometimes the younger ones figure it out earlier and sometimes they just never do.  If you don’t know her well enough to know her age yet, you can assess her security by determining how much of her boobs you can see on a daily basis.  If the bitch is all kindsa hangin’ out, she’s looking for security in the advances of anyone.  She’ll usually take the first guy that smacks her ass.  Also keep in mind that these girls are typically hoe bags and not the type of girl a nice guy wants in his life.

We also need to ask if “nice guy” is code for a guy that lives in his mother’s basement and plays video games all day.  If you’re that guy, you’re not ready for a relationship past that one level 20 paladin that you do raids with on a nightly basis.

If you’re a reasonably attractive, nice guy with a job and real life social interactions, then there are plenty of girls that will be attracted to you.  Maybe you’re looking for them in the wrong place.  Don’t look for one of these girls in a bumpin’ club somewhere.  I’m not saying that nice girls don’t go to clubs, but nice girls don’t go to clubs.  This is where you find the aforementioned tit-out chicks discussed earlier.

Also beware the bar slag.  She is easily noticed as she will be the loudest, drunkest girl at the bar holding on to various objects to prevent falling down.  While waiting for the right girl to come along, this female is only appropriate for fulfilling carnal needs you would never tell your friends about.  However, it is important to remember to wear a raincoat.  This is not a euphemism for a condom, though you should probably wear 10 of those and keep the raincoat on as well.  Keep in mind that you could meet a nice girl in a bar and only resort to this woman at 2 a.m. after you’ve found the bottom of the Jameson bottle.

Other places you wont find the girl of your dreams:

• The mall
• Walmart
• The pharmacy
• A high school
• Any “singles” event
• Craigslist

People always say that nice guys finish last.  I’m sorry, but it’s true.  We have to have our share of assholes to learn the value of a nice guy.  That being said, we will get to you eventually.

-@natters1210